Preface, continued, end

This order of the present moment is a spiritual order, for religious order embodies established meanings based upon the documented traditional, historic orders of the Church. 

The Order of the Present Moment may be lived by one person or by one person amidst many persons, or as God wills in any given circumstance, lived by many among many, even though in actuality we all do live solus Deus, alone with God. 

Truly, this spiritual order necessitates perhaps more so than in religious orders, ecclesial movements, or confraternities, an interior ridding out and filling in, with the soul seeking God alone with God, having glimpsed the possible reality of the stairway to heaven.

What is uncovered and offered, in effect, is the hand rail to the heavenly stairway, as guide and support for our souls to grasp and lean, to steady and pull ourselves up, as we learn from each present moment how to climb, step by step. 

While climbing, spiritual graces strengthen the soul, through climbing, to gently adapt and incorporate what is in the living out of our daily lives, in which God's holy will ordains, placing each individual, with whatever blessings and crosses. Upon this lovely stairway the soul learns to love, and also learns to love to learn to love, and thus learns to sanctify and to be sanctified in the pure and loving moments God gives us.

This spiritual order of one (or of one among many), is more the subtle stream, nestled in a woods, not crashing waves, pounding visible rocks. It is an exploration of tenets, the treads on the stairway to heaven, and of the spiritual climb. Not an attempt to recreate based upon the historical orders of the past, not pouring new wine into old wine skins, nor stripping externals or forcing set patterns in order to learn love.  

This spiritual order is an ever-evolving, fresh order of fluid sequence, of creating and revising, of flowing gently. It allows penetration of the soft, vast, hidden interior, to renew and polish virtues to a sheen so that externals submit to the actual essence of the inner Light. The soul is transformed, transfigured, and the world and souls who witness, desire what they see, and that Jesus Christ and of God.

This order ought be a prototype, a preliminary model of that which can be copied and revised by and for anyone, anywhere, anytime. While a spiritual order, not historically temporal—it is to be a mystical Order that has its roots very much grounded in the temporal Church. Christ came to earth to provide all souls the Way, the Truth, and the Life, this spiritual order of the present moment must model as purely as possible, by our very lives, the Prototype of all prototypes: Christ.

And remember St. Catherine's dream message that it is nothing forced, no set pattern, no strained effort to find and pound the path from complex formulas or rigid exercises. It is learning to do all and also nothing that Jesus did and did not do, Himself. Seeking, being led to, and climbing the Stairway to Heaven is an exciting adventure, even if upon each step are present moment crosses.

Preface, continued, 2

Now, fourteen years later, the Irish Da is still my anam cara, or soul friend. It is he who told me early on to live my life omnia pro Deo. What does that mean? He said: All for God! I practice this as best I can daily and nightly, not perfect, but with reminders such as scripting Omnia pro Deo on a wall or window, and saying it aloud when in need of encouragement. 

While I have not pursued in these interim years any formalizing of the Order of the Present Moment, I have explored in reading, observation, and visits, several traditional orders of the Catholic Church. But other factors and experiences kindle a resurgence of the moment-in-time message, bringing with it not only the mysterious intrigue, but also an urgency within. Time now to attempt writing, mapping out, the vague structure, perhaps a guide to encourage the actual implementation of such an order. 

So I excitedly called the Irish Da and told him I'd try to put something down on paper, simply begin, as other factors in recent present moments caused me to analyze traditional religious orders--current and historical. And, some people recently asked me questions about the spiritual life, expressing their yearning to get close to Jesus but feeling inadequate and bereft in their spiritual course.

Just yesterday I reminded the Da in a visit, that two years ago in August I'd had the lucid dream in which my angel took my hand and said he was going to show me to the stairway to heaven. The Da said, “I remember that. Yes. I remember that one!” And after the dream, some changes occurred, starting gradually, and they are profound and I guess one could say mystical yet with practical application. I like all of us, am in training. Yet I did not grab hold readily, of the hand rail of the stairway to heaven. I don't think I even got to the first step, although that is not mine to know, I suppose. But I was told and shown, and must not cease the desire to be on it, to climb!

Another dream occurred after several months, in which I was shown that I had obstacles. An enormous piece of cardboard was taped across the stairway from side to side beginning at the bottom step, and rising up high to obscure view of the rising steps. But way at the top of the taped cardboard that prohibited entrance to the stairs, the tape had loosened and the cardboard top had flopped over, starting to come down. 

Only a thin piece of cardboard kept me from climbing those stairs! It was a matter of removing the tape somehow, then pulling away the piece of cardboard, so I could begin the ascent. But the dream ended, and I awoke to the reality that while so close, I am yet so far away. A barrier is a barrier. Cardboard was keeping me from the stairs, although thankfully not mortared concrete blocks. And this is how it is in our temporal and spiritual lives--often obstacles that amount to no more than cardboard, simply taped, that keep us from the ascent to union with Christ!

In recent months, additional circumstances of present moments caused me to consider again this desire to seek and find God. One prod was being told of a start-up, active order, how they are forming themselves, and of other groups and movements, such as charismatic groups. Despite the decline in vocations to traditional religious orders, people seem all the more seeking God, trying to find a group to join or ways to progress, usually with other people but sometimes alone--especially if they are not viable candidates for the traditional religious orders.

These factors create the impetus for me to revisit the message of several years past, and to ponder what might be a more pure order, or a prototype—one for Christians of any age, time period and culture, married, single, and even priests (for they desire the spiritual in spite of  varied responsibilities due to the hopefully temporary shortage of priests. Yes, surely there could be an order that is not one of formula or set pattern from tradition or history, but as an option, an order more of the mystical Catholic world yet temporal as well, in the every day living it.

Preface, continued

 

A year or more passed, and I found myself striving very seriously to learn all the prayers, do all the motions and activities that I thought was going to get me “there”, even tried some of the austerities I'd read the saints had tried. I guess I didn't trust them when they said later in their lives they shouldn't have been so hard on their bodies. 

But I was intense in a serious way, and kind of driving myself to find holiness mostly via external exercises. One night I had a dream. I was sitting at a long table, like the kind found in church parish halls, and I was playing solitaire. I was very intent with the cards, trying my hardest to figure out how to win, to find some kind of system.

   Amid the repetitive, unfolding of three cards at a time, I was shown, sitting across from me, St. Catherine of Siena. How do I know it was her? Well, I just knew. I was told without words. And she was watching me play the cards with a smile on her face, an amused and knowing smile. She explained that it is not a matter of any set pattern. There is not any one set way or formula. That was all, and the dream ended.

I've never forgotten the dream or her message, though I've attempted various ways to seek and find God in set ways--including joining a start-up religious order of hermits and wearing a habit for four months. I nearly did in my disabled body by starting a soup kitchen, and when my youngest left for college I divided up furnishings to each of my offspring and rid out most belongings, at least those not specific to religious intent. I had discarded make-up and jewelry, fiction and social clubs, long before these other efforts. 

I worshiped at daily Mass, went to weekly confession, memorized the traditional Catholic prayers, learned novenas, read about saints and victim souls, tithed, wrote, fasted, decorated my abode with religious art and sacred statues, wore a Crucifix and affixed blessed medals to my rosary (which I prayed).  I did all I could to live omnia pro Deo, all for God, yet still not there, had not the win.

Yes, I was passionate with good motives, but I had not found the will of God fiery flowing Holy Spirit living crucified resurrected Christ loving in the present moment way--as St. Catherine of Siena had some years before tried gently, simply, with few words, intimate.

Order of the Present Moment

Preface

Several years ago, shortly after I had converted to Catholicism, I attended Mass at a nearby convent. There, inspired by the vocations of the elderly sisters living at the Motherhouse and somewhat left out, I spontaneously prayed during Mass, asking God, “What religious order am I to be in?” The response was sudden, unexpected. “You are in the Order of the Present Moment!” 

Perhaps an indication of my surprise, I then asked, “What is the habit I will wear?” God answered immediately, again. “Your habit is what you are wearing in this moment.” I looked down and considered the plain, full skirt and long-sleeved tee top, and understood. The habit for one in the Order of the Present Moment is whatever one happens to be wearing.

Later, that evening, after I'd pondered the events of that day, while preparing supper for my children, I asked another question that came to mind. “Who is the patron of this order?” Once more, God's voice spoke clearly, within me. “St. Joseph is the patron.” Of course! The date was March 19—the Feast of St. Joseph.

I know at the time, I was both excited and satisfied by these answers. I made attempts to live out what I thought was the Order of the Present Moment, understanding that we all are to live fully in the present moment. I considered the significance in my own life at the time—divorced, disabled with constant pain, mother of three, recent convert, and friend to a few sisters in the convent not far from my home, but especially close to the convent's chaplain, a holy, elderly Irish priest who I later lovingly would refer to as my Irish Da.

I also considered the role of St. Joseph, and why he would be patron of an order of the present moment. Surely it had something to do with how St. Joseph in life, had to flow with whatever events occurred, in trust and confidence, obediently living out God's will for the benefit of his betrothed, Mary, and the birth and upbringing of Jesus, the Son of God. 

When Joseph was told by an angel not to divorce Mary, he obeyed, immediately changing his plans. When Joseph was told in a dream to take the child and His mother, and flee into Egypt, Joseph instantaneously obeyed. When he was told in a dream to return to Israel, that all was safe again, Joseph obeyed and promptly brought Mary and Jesus to settle in Nazareth. So St. Joseph was adept at living in the present moment, doing God's will in those moments.

A few weeks later, still excited about this “order” that God had said I am in, I mentioned the Order of the Present Moment to a Catholic publications editor. He said, “This reminds me of that book written by Caussade—something about living in the present moment. You ought to read it.” 

So I did read the classic Abandonment to the Love of God by Jean-Pierre Caussade. And yes, the understanding of living in the present moment of God's love, doing His will moment by moment, and sanctifying the present moment, resonated beautifully with the message I'd been given during Mass. However, the Order of the Present Moment was really an order, it seemed, and there surely was meant some kind of structure, for another friend said it sounded just too “loose” and kind of “strange”, nothing anyone would take seriously as a real order.

(continued on next post)